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8 Funny Holiday Wine Pairings

A Wine Survival Guide for Thanksgiving to New Years

Everyone talks about wines that pair well with holiday foods. But what most of us really need are wines that pair well with the holidays, period. A time for gratitude, love, friends and family is also a time for travel headaches, awkward family moments, dry turkey and shopping chaos. Holiday life happens, and it also happens to go great with wine! 

Cheers to a safe, happy, healthy and FUN holiday season!

1. Early Christmas Music

Early Christmas Music Chipmonkey Wine

Tune out early holiday music and decor and tune into a Grüner Veltliner instead. Its balance of citrus, white pepper, savory leek and fresh acid make it a wonderful food wine that will complement many meals. You know, like the Thanksgiving dinner we still haven't even had yet! I'm looking at you, overeager Christmas elves!


2. Meddling Family

Meddling Family Chipmonkey Wine

Avoid answering unsolicited, overly personal dinner table questions by keeping your mouth full of a Portuguese Vinho Verde. Its citrus/melon notes and curious, subtle fizz will keep you refreshingly distracted and unable to answer when you are ever going to get married, have a baby or finally cut your hair. As a bonus, its relatively low alcohol content means you are free to grab another likely-to-be-needed glass.


3. Dry Turkey

Dry Turkey Chipmonkey Wine

Revive your palate with a Chenin Blanc. The dry, semi-dry and sparkling variations all boast yellow apple, quince, ginger and honeysuckle notes along with just enough fresh acidity to bring life to every overcooked turkey masterpiece.


5. Black Friday

Black Friday Chipmonkey Wine

Pair Black Friday with a robust Australian Shiraz. Lush, teeth-staining, blue and dark berry notes will be the first clue that you're not one to be messed with. At 15+% alcohol, your slurring will be the second.


6. Travel Delays

Travel Delays Chipmonkey Wine

Match flight cancellations and delays with a powerhouse Nebbiolo. Its trifecta punch of elevated acid, tannin and alcohol will give you the energy and courage to insist to be moved to the next available flight. And upgraded, darn it. I mean, don’t they even know who you are?


7. Picky Eaters

Picky Eaters Chipmonkey Wine

Go with a true Champange from France. The elegant balance between round opulence and racy zip makes it a great pairing for just about any keto, lacto, ovo, who-knows-o diet out there.   


8. Political Table Talk

Political Table Talk Chipmonkey Wine

Start with an unoaked Chardonnay. Then grab an oaked one. Next find a Syrah. Then maybe a Mourvedre. Finally, go with a Vin Santo before you move on to a Port. When it comes to political table talk, you're gonna need it.


9. New Year's Resolutions

New Years Resolutions Chipmonkey Wine

Grab a bottle of something you've never tried. Swap your Pinot Noir for a Gamay. Or your Gamay for a Schiava. It's a new year for a new you. Jump start it with a new wine!